Last Two Days

So I just finished my last two days skiing here in Kimberley, yesterday Friday and today Saturday. Friday morning woke up to a glorious sun rise. Not a cloud in sight and was warm standing outside before the sun rose just in my pyjamas. It was anticipated to be a busy weekend, as it is Winterfest here in Kimberely. Winterfest is just a fancy word for heaps of activities and lots of people converging from all over the place. Fernie had seen alot of rain during the week where Kimberley only had snow, so the transient snow followers were also expected. There was a buzz in the van as we approached. It had snowed Thursday night quite heavily probably about 25-30 cms on top of the 30 centimeters of fresh that fell on Wednesday and Thursday. The line to the chairlift was 50 solid by the time the opening bell rang, and everyone was talking about what a great powder day it was going to be, the first decent one this month. Going up the chairlift it was obvious that the locals were right. There were no tracks anywhere. The trees were covered, and the attempt at what looked like grooming had obviously failed as the snow was quite thick on the main trails. As it was my last two days I said to the gang all I wanted to focus on was my powder skiing and bumps. First run was down Tamarack, a fairly steep, ungroomed black with really impressive fall lines. By my second turn I was in boot to knee high powder. It was soft and impressively dry. However, it had basically been one month since I last skied in these conditions (my second day at camp) and it was hard going, real leg burning material. By the tenth turn we were in knee to mid thigh deep stashes. The turning at the beginning was really tiresome, but my assistant coach gave me a few pointers, including to tighten my stance, get much lower, and open up my upper body more. This prove invaluable as by my twentieth turn I was ripping down Tamarack like there was no tommorrow. The others were all over the shop, one guy was in tears because he had fallen over so much, and the other person, a one legged skier, was already so tired she wanted to go back to the warming hut. So off they went! I was secretly happy, I had the mountain fresh and the assistant coach all to myself. We headed over to a bump run called Full House. This is a notorious leg burner, one of the longest bump runs in Kimberley, and with the overnight powder, it was expected to be quite heavy going. By the time we were at the top we were fearing that it would already be tracked out, but our hearts jumped when we only saw two fresh tracks. We had it to ourselves. We did a couple more easier runs, Notre Damme, a real long cruisy ungroomed green run and another Caper to bottom of Tamarack (one of my favourites). We were tiring pretty quickly so we went back to the front side to check on the others. By the time we got there they were ready to go and we decided to head in the direction of the far front side runs, Moe's and Boundary. Again to our surprise, these runs were hardly tracked up at all. In most places it averaged boot to knee high powder, but in wind blown spots, it was sometimes up to our hips. I found it quite difficult to ski in that much powder. I kept on getting snow in my nose and in really weird places. I now know why the snorkle is a handy powder instrument! I stacked it once and fell into so much powder it took five minutes to get enough of it off to ski onwards. There was just so much it was lunacy! At lunchtime most of the gang were dead, but I was still wanting more. I went back out and just cruised around by myself on some of the easier runs, main, rosa and dreadnaught, all on the frontside and all pretty close to each other. I got five more runs in before calling it quits. At home that night I was absolutely knackered. I sure as hell had skied the best I could have. I was happy with the way I skied in this trying conditions. All in all, I felt that all the training had paid off and I hadnt forgotten anything during my time off sick. The morning's forecast for my last ski was +8. However I was a cold Saturday morning this morning all the way up until about 2pm where the skies opened up and the sun came out. The conditions werent the best, variable in most places, a powder stash turning into hard turning into soft turning into powder again. My coach said these are the best conditions to learn in, as it is a really good test of balance. So I decided that my last skiing day in Kimberley I was going to focus on skiing in different conditions, and suiting my style to these variable conditions. We started off out back again. As it was my last day i was able to choose all the runs. I chose Caper to Easter Chair because that always seems so fresh in the morning. Sure as hell, we zoomed done it, smiles on our faces! At the top of the Easter chair I decided to take everyone down under the Easter chair to Dean's Left. Dean's Left is a picturesque run, a natural bowly halfpipe. It was perfectly groomed and on the sides powder stashes remained. One of my fondest memories is going down this run, the trees are pretty and it is fun skiing in a natural halfpipe without snowboarders! I was skiing really impressively, my style was back baby, and I was looking good! The crowds were thickening so we stuck to Tamarack, down Eureka, down Caper, past Easter, down another natural bowly halfpipe to the bottom of Tamarack. Although this run is heaps fast, you avoid all the crowds. Maximum waiting time was about two minutes whereas on Easter chair it was about fifteen. We did this four times before heading back to the main for lunch. The crowds were insane on the main. About a twenty minute to half hour wait for the chair. So we took an early lunch hoping to get back out when everyone headed in for lunch. Unfortunately there were so many people it didnt make a difference. Everyone was pretty tired and didnt want to wait around for chairs for so long that they just sat in the sun. I wasnt going to let their poor attitude spoil my last day so I took the assistant coach back out the back. We did our little cheat run another four times. I was tiring quickly knew my time was drawing to a close. On the way back to the main I got the guys to do some action shots. By the time I was at the last pitch of the main looking at home I knew my time at Kimberley was over. I was a little sad, a little disappointed at being sick and missing out on so much. Then I decided to ram it home. I finished the run and stopped for a second. How could I be disappointed? My skiing had improved a billion times. I was now a confident, stylish skier. I could go really really fast (by myself, blind as a bat) and not flinch one bit. I could ski all types of snow, all types of pitches, bumps, trees, I could even ski in total fog! A smile came over my face. I had accomplished so much since I had first arrived. The difference between me on my first run and me on my last was dramatic. I was now the skier I had always wanted to be. I was happy with the way I ski now. The smiled remained when I thought about the future. I wanted so much. I wanted to get in the Paralympics and ski for Australia. I wanted to WIN for Australia. I kept on smiling because right at that moment, I was closer to achieving that goal than I ever had been before. And although I was still so far away from achieiving it, I could see the pathway, I could see the light and I wasnt scared, I wanted it all, and I wanted it now!

The Tail End of Business

So I have three more days left. As much as this week seemed to go slow here I am suddendly with two more skiing days left. Kind of strange, seems like ages ago I first arrived.

I didnt go up yesterday or today. My head is not still 100% and I didnt want to make the mistake I did on Tuesday as I fear a repetition of that vertigo sensation.

But tommorrow and Saturday are different stories. I really want to get the most out of it as I can. I want to finish with some idea of what I have achieved. At the moment I am still a bit unsure how far I have gone. Another two days on the mountain will definitely give me an idea where I am, and where I need to go.

Skiing is a never ending process of learning. Even the best in the world need to improve. Even they can go faster, harder, turn better, get better posture.

So I guess I am not in any particular rush.

I spoke with my coach and reinterated to him my aspirations and dreams. He wasnt surprised as I had previously mentioned this to him before I came. He definitely says I am good enough to do the national disabled championships this year in Australia, so I just need to speak with my Australian coach about that. Hopefully by racing in the national championships, and more importantly, winning, I will get a foothold into the IPC World Cup races, for the northern hemisphere season 07/08.

I suppose the one thing that has changed in terms of my goals is that my immediate goal was to make the Paralympics. Although this has not really changed, a series of sub-goals will lead me there. And unless I successfully execute those sub goals, then the main goal remains unobtainable.

So for me I guess the focus is on these regional and national championships, then the world cup, then the paralympics. One at a time. My coach is confident, my guide is confident (when he isnt talking about boobs), and well I am pretty confident I guess.

In terms of life changes needed to achieve this, well I will need alot of time during the Australian winter for these competitions. I suspect that I might need to change job functions or something, so that I can get this extra time off.

It is an extraordinarily long battle for disabled atheletes to achieve these types of goals. To train you need time and money. To get money, you need time to work. The more time you spend working for money to train, the less you are able to train, and the less effective training becomes. But the less time you spend working for money to train, the less money you have to train, and again the less effective training becomes. It is a vicious circle. One that can only be overcome with support, sponsorship and patience. Alot of the fellow people I have met do not work for the simple reason is that they need the time to train. But in the process of forgoing work to train, they are missing out on alot of the things only people who can work can afford.

I guess I am extremely lucky because I have a workplace that sponsors me and has given me some time off work. I wonder what they will say when I ask them for more sponsorship money, in exchange for even more time off work! Cant hurt I guess!

Anyway, early night for my last two days. I am going to go hard. No fear.

The Tail End of Business

So I have three more days left. As much as this week seemed to go slow here I am suddendly with two more skiing days left. Kind of strange, seems like ages ago I first arrived.

I didnt go up yesterday or today. My head is not still 100% and I didnt want to make the mistake I did on Tuesday as I fear a repetition of that vertigo sensation.

But tommorrow and Saturday are different stories. I really want to get the most out of it as I can. I want to finish with some idea of what I have achieved. At the moment I am still a bit unsure how far I have gone. Another two days on the mountain will definitely give me an idea where I am, and where I need to go.

Cabin Fever

So it has been four days since I last went up for a ski because of my sickness. I said to a fellow trainer at the commencement of our course that there are only three things that would stop me from skiing (1) serious injury (2) serious hangover or (3) serious sickness. I never thought I would actually have to invoke this! So cabin fever reached its highest pitch last night. Tossing and turning. Couldnt sleep. Thoughts racing through my mind. Woke up and said to myself, "this is it, I cannot stay another day in bed or I will simply go insane". I was again mildly better, so I decided to tempt fate and go up the mountain. Put my left ski boot on my right foot and couldnt work out why it felt so weird for about ten minutes. First mistake. Should have given up then! It was minus 10 outside. Second mistake. My hands were frozen in the car ride up to the mountain. Wasnt looking promising. On the chairlift up, about two minutes into the ride (probably about a quarter of the way up) the fog hit. Third mistake. The fog was the thickest and cloudiest for Kimberley this year. It went right to the summitt too. Skied down my favourite run midnight. Couldnt see a thing. Was snowploughing, rotating, and I had slight vertigo. Couldnt work out up or down, left or right. I was basically skiing like a fool. It was lucky I got to the bottom of the mountain unscathed. Went and had a coffee. Waited for Scott my guide to show up. About half an hour later I saw him at the chairlift. No course was going to be set up today as it was too foggy so everyone was going to go on a tour of the secret spots around the mountain. I thought what a great idea. BIG MISTAKE AGAIN! Half way up the mountain when I met the fog again I realised my mistake and skied back down the main run alone following the chairlift line so I wouldnt get lost (yes it was that bad). The vertigo hit me again and I realised that I was too sick to ski. And my foot was frozen again. So I came back down and waited for lunch. After lunch I came back home for some rest and hopefully I will feel alot better tommorrow. The trials and tribulations!

Another hiccup that turns into sickness

It was Friday. The first day of speed camp. I was very excited and as I had said previously, a little nervous. We were to do the super g and downhill courses set in the proper manner, with timing gates and radar guns to check speed. In the morning I felt weird. My head was pounding like when I have a hangover, but I hadnt drunk for four days. I put it down to nerves and made it up to the mountain. The nature of the camp means that there is a lot of waiting around at the top of the course. Waiting for coaches, waiting for other people to complete the run, waiting for the ruts to be cleared when possible, wait wait wait. Although it was a pleasant day of about +1 or +2 degrees, I started wavering between being really hot and really cold. I had been waiting for about an hour and I knew something was wrong. I did my run (ok effort - a lot of fog made me a tad apprehensive) and made my way to lunch. As soon as I sat down I knew I had a cold or the flu. I ate my lunch and excused myself from the rest of the afternoon, catching a cab home. I went straight to bed and slept for three hours like a baby. When I woke up I was probably about three times worse than when I went to sleep. I knew I had a viral infection (my cough was wet) so I took a couple of antibiotics. My body was wrecked with pain, in the joints and tendons, so I took some panadol too. I was devastated. This was the penultimate part of my training and I was going to miss it due to sickness. The others would be way ahead of me in terms of experience because I knew I wouldnt be able to do the rest of the speed camp. I wanted to curl up and cry - it was such bad luck, I havent felt this sick in years, and I mean really really sick, I couldnt balance when walking, I couldnt hear anything, I had trouble breathing, I had a fever, my chest felt like someone was stabbing it each time I coughed, and my head just felt like a big lamb chop. The sickness continued Saturday day two of the speed camp. I stayed at home and slept all day. I woke to eat and go to the toilet and that is about it. Saturday night there was a big party at a local Kimberley resident's house and everyone was invited. I had to miss that too. I was in bed at 7.45pm on Saturday night and slept until 7.45 the next morning. I have never slept for so long in my life. Today is day three and the last day of speed camp. I woke up to see the biggest snowflakes ever falling. They were like big fluffy balls of cotton wool. So not only do I miss the speed camp and the big party last night, I miss the powder day today. It is still snowing chunk balls of cotton wool, there has been about 25 centimeters and forecast is for this to continue for another two days which could possibly bring us a meter of new snow. Hopefully by Tuesday I will be well enough to go back skiing. At the moment all I can do is rest and fight this bastard of a flu. I remember my religious friend once telling me, in the middle of a plane flight that felt like we were going to crash, that "everything happens for a reason". It is a comforting thought that one and something I have been focussing on the whole time I have been sick. There must be a reason why I am sick, and why I have missed out on all these great things. The reason still eludes me but could it have something to do with constantly being challenged? Is this just a test for me so I can suceed later on? Only time will tell.

For now sleep and more sleep.

Calm before the Storm

Today I did nothing but read all day and went for a walk. The walk was really soothing as I am getting a bit nervous about the speed camp. It has been quite warm and the snow is wet. It has however, snowed about 20-25 centimeters in 24 hours, much of which I must admit is probably melted by now. Was so warm on my walk I took off my beanie and jacket, just walking in my tshirt and bonds long sleeve shirt. So I guess the nerves relate to my fear of the risk associated with how fast I am going, and how little I see in front of me, and the relatively small window of opportunity for reaction. It is funny, when I drove I used to speed like a maniac, with little reflection on how dangerous this actually is. But now, on skis, when going exceptionally fast, I can really sense the danger. As I said in my last post, the fear is actually working against me, and the trick is to try and stay calm and relaxed. That is totally counterintuitive, what your body requires versus what your body actually does. This is the key to great skiing, letting the ebbs and ruts mean nothing, and letting your legs make like jelly. On a different note I have been told by the IPC (International Paralympic Committee) that because I didnt register for 2006-2007 racing back in October 2006 I am not eligible to race in Thredbo for the regional championships in August this year. I, amongst everyone here, have not taken this well, and we are working on a logical argument that goes along the lines of "ben didnt knew he qualified until after the cut off date, so there was no reasonable way in which he could have applied for eligibility". All a bunch of red tape. Personally I am not worried, but just a little fed up at stupid assholes sitting in an office deciding a person's life with no real reason other than "it is the rules". Stuff the rules. If I followed the rules all the time I wouldnt be me. I am really looking forward to this battle. And even if I dont win, it doesnt matter, there is always next year, more time to practice for when I do kick ass! Well I better go and get some rest for tommorrows speed camp. I will lie in bed thinking of that woooshing sound, the blurry sight, and that wind resistance that I sense when doing the downhill.

Speed Training Camp

This weekend is the speed training camp. The downhill course (FIS approved) is set up for Saturday and Sunday. Super G is set up tommorrow and Friday. Basically the course is a proper racing track run as done in the Olympics or Paralympic Games, complete with jumps, sections of extra fast straightlining, and flags for big carving turns. Today our coach took us up and without setting the course, showed us how the course will be set. We followed him down each section and he pointed out what needed to be done where. Like for example in one section it is quite flat, so speed is needed from the previous downhill section and one is to tuck turn through these sections. In other sections, our coach showed us where to come out of the tuck and do an "open tuck" where the arms are slightly outwards but the body maintains its aerodynamics. An open tuck is done to maintain balance in slightly pitched sections. We had a couple of free runs where my coach guided me. At first I was quite tentative, not picking up speed where I should have and a little apprehensive of the speed at which I was going. However by the third run I was gunning it. At every flat bit I tucked turned to build speed, at every straight bit I tucked as low as possible, and at every turn I had exceptional pressure on my downhill ski while it edged so I could build speed. I timed myself in my head and I reckon I did it in just on two minutes. During the world cup the atheletes were doing super G (a shorter course) in one minute thirty. So I think I am right on the money here. Can wait for the camp. Coaches and students from around the area are coming. Some of the best coaches in BC and Alberta province will be around to give tuition, guide and help build our skills, and more specifically build our speed. I must admit at one point in the afternoon I was a little scared. I was using the assistant coach's 190 centimeter race skis (pretty much the fastest ski I have ever ridden) and picked up more speed than I have ever skied before. Things were getting a little blurry, and I couldnt hear anything but the resistance of the air against my body. I just knew if I made one little wrong movement I would be dead meat. Instead of fretting about it I took my coach's advice and just relaxed. Not only did relaxing help my legs adjust to the contours of the race course itself as I went madly down and up pitches and jumps, I actually went a little faster..So confidence and attitude is actually what makes the difference. It is counter-intuitive, your body wants to tense up and slow down, I actually learnt the most important thing today, tensing up is the biggest risk a skier can make. Its all about chillin out and bustin a sweet relaxed move! Finished the day off gunning Midnight, my favourite run. Was told to slow down! Gotta go and recover now for the camp. So excited!